i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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