He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
