i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
