sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize