She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
