Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
