Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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