Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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