laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
