That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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