If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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