Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
