he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
