lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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