We're facebook friends in real life
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize