the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
