Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
