My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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