I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
