I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
