I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize