it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
