Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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