In the future we'll all be gay
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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