i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
