they need to just BURY HIM!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Randomize
