we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
