I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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