We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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