I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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