did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
