what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
