Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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