you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
