it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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