Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Success! We fucked roommates!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
