just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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