This dress was meant to end up on your floor
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
