I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
