don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
