Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
