I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
