so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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