Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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