I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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