At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
