member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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