I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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