you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
