life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
