So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
People in love make me want to vomit
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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