i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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