Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
this will be a night to untag.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
