We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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