Pappa wants mamma naked
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
