Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
