lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
