It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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