Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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