i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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