R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
