He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
