Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
