is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
