you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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